my bucket list

the term bucket list of course is inspired by the recent jack nicholson/morgan freeman flick about two older dudes who make a list of things to do before they kick the bucket. unfortunately i haven't seen the movie but tiffany, kimpossible, and a. hill inspired me with their bucket lists so i thought i would come up with my own.

we all have ideas of things we dream to do if the world were perfect, if we knew we couldn't fail, if we had an everlasting supply of money. something about dreaming of these things brings the true desires of our heart to the surface. makes things seem a lot more possible than they might at first glance. so dear readers, here is my bucket list, in no particular order and definitely not exhaustive. i'm hoping to add more to the list as life goes on...

1. experience questlove deejaying live
2. get published in essence magazine
3. get published in o magazine
4. get published in urb magazine
5. write and publish at least two books (hopefully more!)
6. travel to italy for at least a two week trip
7. travel to africa for at least a three week trip
8. attend a jay-z concert with my brother robert
9. travel to israel
10. take a cross country road trip when i really have time to take my time and enjoy it
11. research my family origin on both sides similar to african american lives
12. be a part of a mentoring program for young women
13. go to the u.s. open with my grandma and family
14. take my grandma to a real scrabble tournament
15. learn how to salsa dance and chicago step (instead of that fronting i do when step in the name of love comes on :O)
16. finish the scrapbook of all these pictures, programs, tickets, greeting cards, notes, letters etc that i've been saving all these years
17. check out eric roberson's night at SOB's
18. marry somebody i love, who's my friend, and can tolerate me getting on his nerves and vice versa and have some babies
19. organize a girlfriends trip for my close friends, esp the ones i rarely get to see
20. learn how to cook at least 15 dishes very well!
21. make it through 80 minutes of yoga without having to lay down for a few minutes
22. take better care of my health
23. see earth, wind, & fire and frankie beverly & maze live
24. travel to the caribbean
25. take my mom to the schomburg
26. leave life with little to no regrets
27. not let fear keep me from doing anything
28. be real with myself and with God


10 Favorite Spike Lee Flicks

my mom got me hooked on spike lee flicks starting with mo better blues. this is when I became oh so well acquainted with classic spike technique. first, the jazz score. no spike lee joint is complete without some sort of jazz seeping right out of a scene as if it is a character in and of itself. second, is the spike lee shot, used in nearly every spike lee film…I'm sure there is a technical name for this, if you are a film head help me out here. now on my top ten spike lee joints…

1. mo better blues
2. malcolm x

3. four little girls
4. do the right thing

5. jungle fever
6. bamboozled
7. school daze

8. when the levees broke
9. she's gotta have it
10. get on the bus

10 Things a Single Woman Hates to Hear

a few weeks ago, kimpossible and I traveled down to orlando, fl for the fusion experience. sponsored by Rightnow.org, fusion is a conference that encourages 20 and 30 somethings to live their faith out of the box and this is my fourth year being a part. along with co-emceeing the event with marc mccartney, I do some poems, and facilitate a breakout session.

as an opener for my session, "for single women only," I emailed some of my single female friends to poll them on the things they hate to hear. after receiving humorous emails and ignorant stories I siphoned the list to 10 things. shoutout to all the ladies who attended my session in Orlando and those who attended the first "for single women only" in dallas. for your reading pleasure…

10 Things a Single Woman Hates to Hear

1. When am I gonna have some grandchildren?
I actually just had to deal with this question recently for the first time. for the most part my family encourages me to pursue my dreams and I don't get too much pressure. but in the not too distant past a loved one who will remain nameless recently inquired of when I might be getting on this grandchildren train. I of course shifted focus to other family members who are married with kids, but no such luck. it's clear that this conversation was not about grandkids in general. it was specifically about grandkids with half my genes. lol I told said loved one…let's work on the getting married part first then we can talk about grandkids. lol

2. When is your boyfriend going to propose?
some of the ladies who are boo'd up said that they get the proposal pressure from the family and friends…may be worse around holidays. :O

3. There is someone out there…
I've always wondered about this one. On my most cynical day I was like really…have you seen him?!

4. It'll happen when you least expect it.
Raise your hand single women if you have tried to "least expect it" just so "it" will happen! LOL Dang…but I would have to say every time “it” happened to me, it happened when I least expected it. Okay, maybe there’s some truth to this one! :D

5. I know this really nice guy you'd be interested in.
I would tell my worst "let me hook you up" story but it cannot be blogged about. I must tell it in person. lol all I can say is be wary of letting your co-workers set you up! if you see me in the street I'll spill the gory details.

6. If you just _____, you could get a man.
This is an interesting one. Now, I'm not denying that all of us could probably use some growth, maturity, change. But if your only purpose for changing or growing is to nab a man, i venture to say it's not a good look.

7. I'm not ready for a committed relationship, but I still want to hang out with you.
This one received terrible reviews from my email responses and I quote "This is called: Trying to have their cake and eat it too....HECK NO!!!"
8. You're such a cool girl, why can't my girlfriend be more like you?
Dang, I don't even have a comment! lol

9. Why are you still single?
This was the response I received the most from my single female friends. No matter who's asking, something about this question is highly frustrating. Like if I knew why I was single…wouldn't I change it?! But I think a guy's perspective may help on this one. My friend Caleb shed some light. He said when a man says this to a woman, it's normally a compliment. Like he thinks you're so great he wonders why you're still single. Not like what in the world is wrong with you. LOL So before you answer this one, take a deep breath and have some positive thoughts. :)

10. We're never gonna get married.
At a roundtable of girlfriends, powwowing on the latest dating/relationship escapades this statement is likely to be tossed around. I've said it and I've heard it said. It's the fallback from your last dating experience, the defense mechanism many single women hope keeps them from hurt and disappointment.
Now…I'm not gonna get on my soapbox…at least not in this blog. lol But I firmly believe there's no use in bemoaning where you are in life in hopes of being someplace better. Enjoy wherever you are and live life to the fullest…I'll be covering this topic more in future blogs. I gotta end with a quote that inspires me no matter how many times any of these ten things.

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life." – Paul (The Message)

Single ladies…did I miss any of the things you hate to hear? Fellas anything you want to add? A blog with the male perspective on this topic is coming soon…