10 Things a Single Man Hates to Hear

10 things a single man hates to hear

I'm probably giving away a money idea, but I've always wished there was a yahoo for the male mind. a place where I could type in the male sentences I had a hard time translating and receive some sort of glimpse into the male psyche that might help me to understand and better communicate. in lieu of malemindyahoo.com, it pays to have good guy friends. ☺

blogging is really about conversation, so I thought it only right to present the male side of my previous blog 10 things single women hate to hear. I sent out an email to the single fellas and siphoned 10 things they hate to hear.

From women…
1. We need to talk.

2. There are no good men out here.
"A lot of women are blind and have no clue what a good man looks like."

3. You're such a nice guy.

4. I don't need a man.

5. I'm late.

6. I would like to date a guy just like you.
"This sucks when it's a chick you dig and you're thinking there is no one more like me than ... me."

7. You're like my brother.

8. I'm a classy chick.
"Classy women don't need to say this."

9. I want to get married before I turn 30.

From family and friends…
10. When are you going to settle down, get married and have some kids?

fellas, got anything to add? ladies, what do you think?

10 Favorite Spike Lee Flicks

my mom got me hooked on spike lee flicks starting with mo better blues. this is when I became oh so well acquainted with classic spike technique. first, the jazz score. no spike lee joint is complete without some sort of jazz seeping right out of a scene as if it is a character in and of itself. second, is the spike lee shot, used in nearly every spike lee film…I'm sure there is a technical name for this, if you are a film head help me out here. now on my top ten spike lee joints…

1. mo better blues
2. malcolm x



3. four little girls
4. do the right thing



5. jungle fever
6. bamboozled
7. school daze



8. when the levees broke
9. she's gotta have it
10. get on the bus

10 Things a Single Woman Hates to Hear

a few weeks ago, kimpossible and I traveled down to orlando, fl for the fusion experience. sponsored by Rightnow.org, fusion is a conference that encourages 20 and 30 somethings to live their faith out of the box and this is my fourth year being a part. along with co-emceeing the event with marc mccartney, I do some poems, and facilitate a breakout session.

as an opener for my session, "for single women only," I emailed some of my single female friends to poll them on the things they hate to hear. after receiving humorous emails and ignorant stories I siphoned the list to 10 things. shoutout to all the ladies who attended my session in Orlando and those who attended the first "for single women only" in dallas. for your reading pleasure…

10 Things a Single Woman Hates to Hear

1. When am I gonna have some grandchildren?
I actually just had to deal with this question recently for the first time. for the most part my family encourages me to pursue my dreams and I don't get too much pressure. but in the not too distant past a loved one who will remain nameless recently inquired of when I might be getting on this grandchildren train. I of course shifted focus to other family members who are married with kids, but no such luck. it's clear that this conversation was not about grandkids in general. it was specifically about grandkids with half my genes. lol I told said loved one…let's work on the getting married part first then we can talk about grandkids. lol

2. When is your boyfriend going to propose?
some of the ladies who are boo'd up said that they get the proposal pressure from the family and friends…may be worse around holidays. :O

3. There is someone out there…
I've always wondered about this one. On my most cynical day I was like really…have you seen him?!

4. It'll happen when you least expect it.
Raise your hand single women if you have tried to "least expect it" just so "it" will happen! LOL Dang…but I would have to say every time “it” happened to me, it happened when I least expected it. Okay, maybe there’s some truth to this one! :D

5. I know this really nice guy you'd be interested in.
I would tell my worst "let me hook you up" story but it cannot be blogged about. I must tell it in person. lol all I can say is be wary of letting your co-workers set you up! if you see me in the street I'll spill the gory details.

6. If you just _____, you could get a man.
This is an interesting one. Now, I'm not denying that all of us could probably use some growth, maturity, change. But if your only purpose for changing or growing is to nab a man, i venture to say it's not a good look.

7. I'm not ready for a committed relationship, but I still want to hang out with you.
This one received terrible reviews from my email responses and I quote "This is called: Trying to have their cake and eat it too....HECK NO!!!"
8. You're such a cool girl, why can't my girlfriend be more like you?
Dang, I don't even have a comment! lol

9. Why are you still single?
This was the response I received the most from my single female friends. No matter who's asking, something about this question is highly frustrating. Like if I knew why I was single…wouldn't I change it?! But I think a guy's perspective may help on this one. My friend Caleb shed some light. He said when a man says this to a woman, it's normally a compliment. Like he thinks you're so great he wonders why you're still single. Not like what in the world is wrong with you. LOL So before you answer this one, take a deep breath and have some positive thoughts. :)

10. We're never gonna get married.
At a roundtable of girlfriends, powwowing on the latest dating/relationship escapades this statement is likely to be tossed around. I've said it and I've heard it said. It's the fallback from your last dating experience, the defense mechanism many single women hope keeps them from hurt and disappointment.
Now…I'm not gonna get on my soapbox…at least not in this blog. lol But I firmly believe there's no use in bemoaning where you are in life in hopes of being someplace better. Enjoy wherever you are and live life to the fullest…I'll be covering this topic more in future blogs. I gotta end with a quote that inspires me no matter how many times any of these ten things.

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life." – Paul (The Message)

Single ladies…did I miss any of the things you hate to hear? Fellas anything you want to add? A blog with the male perspective on this topic is coming soon…

10 Favorite Movie Scenes

this blog is inspired by the movie that thing you do. every time this movie comes on tv I literally sit there and watch the whole movie for a 30 second scene, which is one of the ten scenes here. liv tyler's lines in that 30 seconds stick with me every time! I also admit dear reader that the color purple appears more than once in this list. if I thought about it I probably could have catalogued 10 scenes from the color purple alone! :O for your reading pleasure…

1. God is trying to tell you something – the color purple


2. you a liar and you a cheat – the jacksons: american dream (check in at 3:00)


3. thousands of kisses – that thing you do


4. follow the drip – house party


5. kills your brain cells, son. – lean on me


6. When you figure out you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. – when harry met sally


7. the last scene of fatal attraction

8. did I ever ask you for anything?! – the color purple

9. "sista" – the color purple (including "harpo, who dis woman?"


10. proud mary – what's love got to do with it?

10 Quotes about Poetry

I wrote my first book of poetry in the fourth grade. mrs. perry’s class. mrs. perry was a large woman, jovial with glasses thick like microscope lenses and curly salt and pepper hair that had better body than many of the chicks in the pert plus commercial. it was January and we had read poems and quotes about dr. king.

mrs. perry armed us with white copy paper, markers, crayons, colored pencils and freed our eight year old minds to write poems and draw our own illustrations. once we had written the work, we did what we had no idea many writers must do. we self-published. we were responsible for writing, illustrating, binding, and coming up with cover art. my friend porsha had the genius idea of using old hand towels as the cover. my hand towel had a blue butterfly spread across it which matched perfectly with the electric blue duct tape that would become the book’s spine.

mrs. perry encouraged something that my mom had started in me before I was born. a love for words. mrs. perry’s book assignment showed me the power of not only honoring my own words but that words can be a gift that you leave for others. like an inheritance. today, I don’t have that blue butterfly hand towel or the duct tape, but I’m still writing, illustrating, packaging, hoping that someone will happen upon these words and find encouragement in them. in honor of national poetry month…ten quotes about poetry.

1. Writers don’t write from experience, although many are hesitant to admit that they don’t. ...If you wrote from experience, you’d get maybe one book, maybe three poems. Writers write from empathy.—Nikki Giovanni

2. I always write a good first line, but I have trouble in writing the others.-- Molière [Jean Baptiste Poquelin]

3. But all art is sensual and poetry particularly so. It is directly, that is, of the senses, and since the senses do not exist without an object for their employment all art is necessarily objective. It doesn’t declaim or explain, it presents. – William Carlos Williams

4. All poets, all writers are political. They either maintain the status quo, or they say, ’Something’s wrong, let’s change it for the better.’ – Sonia Sanchez

5. One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

6. The trouble with America isn’t that the poetry of life has turned to prose, but that it has turned to advertising copy. – Louis Kronenberger

7. My role in society, or any artist or poet’s role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all. – John Lennon

8. I grew up in this town, my poetry was born between the hill and the river, it took its voice from the rain, and like the timber, it steeped itself in the forests. – Pablo Neruda

9. At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. – Plato

10. Poetry is concerned with using with abusing, with losing with wanting, with denying with avoiding with adoring with replacing the noun. It is doing that always doing that, doing that and doing nothing but that. Poetry is doing nothing but using losing refusing and pleasing and betraying and caressing nouns. That is what poetry does, that is what poetry has to do no matter what kind of poetry it is. And there are a great many kinds of poetry. – Gertrude Stein

10 Questions about Making the Band Season 4

first of all dear readers…clearly a sista has fallen off of her top ten game. I’m finally back at it and for my top ten negligence you will receive two back to back top ten lists. that should set us off right. and now the top ten…

so I get hooked into a couple of reality shows. america’s next top model. flavor of love (I know, I know…the first step to getting help is admitting you have a problem! LOL). and diddy’s making the band. I stayed caught up on this show until the season finale. inspired by vibe mag’s 20 questions here are ten questions I had about this season of making the band. things that make you go hmmm…..

1. is day 26 a good band name? 2. is donnie’s album ever gonna come out? 3. do you want to go to the dollhouse? 4. doesn’t aubrey look better without all that extra hair and lashes? 5. don’t you really want to say b---a--ness? 6. is bryan still rocking the clippered eyebrows? 7. how did diddy calculate that b----a--ness is down 15%? 8.. is b----a--ness down a notch because gas prices are so high? 9. didn’t danity kane turn out to be a good band name? 10. was anybody really feeling it at first?

10 Quotes for Women from Marianne Williamson

People! A sista is late on her top ten Tuesday promise again, so it’s top ten Wednesday this week. I am in the process of reading a few different books, which means it’s been a minute since I finished one. :O In honor of DOING HER THING month, I decided to pass on some quotes from Marianne Williamson’s A Woman’s Worth. I don’t agree with everything in the book but every few pages Marianne will write this nugget that is something I can take home with me. I pass some of these nuggets on to you. As always, kudos, comments, and opinions are welcome. :)

1. There is nothing Madison Avenue can give us that will make us more beautiful women. We are beautiful because God created us that way. Some of us know of our beauty and express it and celebrate it. But beauty itself is not given to us by anyone; it is a power we have within us from the gate, radiance inside us.

2. Don’t let another woman inherit your spoiled-brat lover like a pair of uncomfortable shoes you took back to the store. If he doesn’t get it, let him know. Walk on by.

3. A career grows out of who we are; who we are doesn’t grow out of a career. [Your] goal must not be to find a job but to become a magnificent woman.

4. A woman who cannot honor her own feelings will not find them honored by anyone else.

5. There’s a difference between a gentle man and a weak man. Weak men make us nervous. Gentle men make us calm.

6. We serve [God] to the extent that we have thoughts of purity. Purity means that we do not manipulate or seduce or preprogram or project hidden agendas onto anyone or anything.

7. No man can convince a woman she’s wonderful, but if she already believes she is, his agreement can resonate and bring her joy.

8. Everywhere we look we are presented with the idea that men toy with women, women toy with men – that’s just the way things are; it’s the way of love. But that is not the way of love; it’s the way of lovelessness.

9. There is a difference between getting a partner and attracting a partner. Getting implies that our hooks work; attracting means that our light is bright and appears like a beacon to one who is meant to see it.

10. Throughout our twenties and thirties, we care so much about what the Joneses think, even if we think we don’t. These two decades are the time when we’re most tempted to try to live for others. Around forty, it occurs to us that the Joneses have holes in their socks too, thank you, and that we have less control over what other people think than we ever imagined.

10 Favorite Women Authors

the first book I read where I saw a clear reflection of myself was mufaro's beautiful daughters by john steptoe. it had rich, colorful pictures of two beautiful african sisters, one whose heart was good and one with ill-intentions, on their way to meet a prince. the pictures and story were so vivid I sometimes ran my hand along the pages as if I could physically touch the leaves and foliage surrounding each scene. there is something to be said for reading a work that reflects back to you who you are and the life you know. there is also something to be said for reading a work that exposes you to a world you've never known. the following women authors (and many more) have been that way for me. check 'em out and hit me up with any add-ons.

1. alice walker (the color purple)
2. zora neale hurston (their eyes were watching God)
3. toni morrison (love, sula, song of Solomon, jazz, the bluest eye)
4. maya angelou (I know why the caged bird sings)
5. nikki Giovanni (love poems)
6. sonia sanchez (full moon CD and any of her haikus)
7. lorraine hansberry (a raisin in the sun)
8. ntozake shange (for colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf)
9. gloria naylor (women of Brewster place)
10. gwendolyn brooks ("we real cool" and any of her sonnets)

10 Quotes from A Raisin in the Sun

last night I crowded around the television with my family and a couple of friends (hey ashley and carrie!) for the first black movie tv event in what seems like a long time. three generations watching something decidedly more substantive than dancing with the stars. my grandma talked about how the love of money is the root of all evil, my mom talked about why lena left her son the room to devastate her or make her proud by giving him responsibility over a portion of the family’s inheritance, my friends, my sister and I applauded asagai’s eloquence. so much so that I couldn’t even transcribe the quote about the calabashes because a sista got too caught up listening to write it down! did he say he wanted to bring her cool drinks from the calabash?!

phylicia rashad and audra mcdonald gave stellar performances. I was concerned about diddy at first, but he did emote well in a few key scenes. props to the cast and especially Kenny leon for a well-made remake of a classic. here are my top ten quotes from the movie.

1. I remember well the things that are important to me. – asagai

2. in my mother’s house, there is still God. – lena/beneatha

3. alaiyo…what’s that? African for beneatha? – lena

4. when a cat takes off with your money he don’t leave no map. – bobo

5. man, I’m a volcano, a giant surrounded by ants. ants can’t understand a thing giants talking about. – walter lee

6. how we get to be at a place where we scared to talk softness to each other? – walter lee

7. life is divided up between the takers and the tooken and some of us always getting tooken. – walter lee

8. you making something inside me cry, son. – lena

9. if you gone measure a man, measure him right. measure all the hills and valleys he been through to get wherever he’s got. – lena

10. goodbye misery! I don’t ever want to see your ugly face again. -- ruth

Childhood TV Shows

first of all today is Wednesday, actually it's almost Thursday which means a sista is late on her top ten Tuesday promise. dear readers, please forgive. ? for your reading pleasure, top ten shows from when I was a kid, dedicated to all the 80s babies. this blog is brought to you by the number 10 and the letter A.

1. the smurfs – question: was smurfette the only female smurf? did that make her the queen bee? was she reproducing all the other smurfs? and what does that say about papa smurf? was being a rolling stone in his ancestry?

2. the cosby show – once the cosby show came on television Thursday nights were reserved. I literally felt like rudy and I grew up together. favorite episode…what am I thinking?! trying to list your favorite cosby show episode is a difficult task…some honorable mentions: the one where cliff turned the house into the real world for theo, "night time is the right time"

3. teenage mutant ninja turtles – is it possible to have a crush on a turtle? seriously? how can a turtle be cute?

4. the care bears – do the care bear countdown, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

5. sesame street – one two three four five – six seven eight nine ten – eleven twelve


6. mr. rogers – ok now that I'm grown, this show actually seems a little weird. I mean, that man in his house talking to kids inviting them to be his neighbor, taking off his shoes and stuff. I don't know. but at the time, I dug mr. rogers and the little village with the train. maybe it helped my imagination. check out this video of mr. rogers learning how to breakdance.


7. square one – I really dug this show. mathnet was like an educational predecessor to law & order!

8. reading rainbow – I want to not only thank levar burton for playing such a quintessential role in roots but I also want to thank him for hosting the show that encouraged me to become a bookworm. I so wanted to be one of those kids telling about the plot of their favorite book. james and the giant peach sucka! but you don't have to take my word for it…check out this video of run dmc on reading rainbow.



9. jem – the fellas might not feel me on this one, but jem was a rock star version of superman. she was a regular chick and when she touched her star earring she became a rock chick. ok so she didn't have super powers but still with one touch of a fingernail and showtime synergy, she went from day to evening, plain jane to superfly. if they sold her earrings, I'd buy a pair right now!

10. fraggle rock – let me start by saying that I had a fraggle rock mini LP that I used jam to on my grandma's JVC. who knew the doozers could create a city with radishes and crystallized sugar water?

I Heart Coffee Spots

I'm a sucker for conversation. with strangers, with good girlfriends, with my cousin nem, with the cutie in the line at wal-mart. coffee spots are a den for conversation, which means I'm also a sucker for a good coffee spot. I have had some pretty pivotal conversations over chai latte and shortbread. I would catalog them here, but that would ruin the whole surprise element when my memoir comes out. :D

I'm not really a coffee drinker, but something about the steam, the sweet, the cool ambient music makes the conversation seem so much more pivotal and intellectually deep. :P here are ten of my favorite places to gather for a combination caffeine and conversation high.

1. Mocha Match – my favorite thing about mocha match is that it has a couple of nooks and crannies where you can sit and not be seen. I sometimes need to go to a coffee spot and work and not get distracted looking at every person that comes in. great coffee, chai, cider, and the staff and the owner are cool ta def (hey Sabrina and joie!) oh and FREE WI-FI (Decatur near agnes scott college)
2. Urban Grind – looking for the BEST open mic in Atlanta, stop through on Thursdays! with jon goode, blaqkharma, nukola, and spinxx alternating as hosts, Thursdays at urban grind are a guaranteed good time. I stand by it! urban grind's also got other fun stuff like a musician's open mic, game night, art night. come through and upgrade your social life. great drinks, great food, cool tees and music for sale, and the owner is the sweetest lady you wanna meet (hey Cassandra!) oh and FREE WI-FI with a purchase. (Marietta st/howell mill)
3. Octane – ok I rarely go to octane to talk. if I'm octane it's strictly for working and it seems that for most octane customers, this coffee spot has become their mobile office. if you need a place to get focused and finally finish up some work, try octane. oh and try the caramal coolant but be warned, drink one too late and you will be up all night! oh yeah and FREE WI-FI. (howell mill & 8th)
4. Sip – sip hands down wins the best décor award. it's got a very modern chocoloate look with some splashes of live green. they even have these cool, round, lime green chairs. I actually saw a grown man about curled up in one! 2 hrs WI-FI with a purchase. (Lindbergh, piedmont)
5. Cafe Intermezzo – I've been loving this spot since college. which was only two years ago. LOL try the Mexican hot chocolate and let me know if you can drink out of that big mug without getting whip cream on your nose. ahem…FREE WI-FI before 7pm (peachtree & perimeter)
6. Java Monkey – admittedly I've never been to java monkey except on Sundays for Java Monkey Speaks, which is one of the best open mics in town. I get down with their apple cider though and there desserts are necessary! believe it… FREE WI-FI (Decatur, church st.)
7. Starbucks on 7th – if you've been reading these blogs you know I'm a starbucks fan, even they are the establishment when it comes to coffee spots. my fav starbucks is on 7th, the one with all the windows. the view of the street from the window reminds me of new york. sorry ? no free wi-fi here.
8. QuikTrip – this is not a place for conversation unless you can squeeze that in while you're pumping your gas. BUT if you need the kind of coffee to keep you awake for the low low…a QT visit will do you right. it is especially helpful on road trips. I stand by it! I guarantee it! free wi-fi…n/a (a neighborhood near you)
9. Javaology – edgewood is happening in case you haven't noticed. my favorite thing about javaology is the loft space they have upstairs. I've been to quite a few cool events up there. nothing like some cool couches and a little exposed brick to create mood in a room. you guessed it…FREE WI-FI (edgewood shawty)
10. PJ's – I know, I know atlantic station has become the walmart of Atlanta social life, big box national restaurants and stores that don't give people any kind of feel for what the city is really about. I get it and I agree. doesn't stop me from going to the movies down there but I digress. pj's is my vote for most comfortable coffee spot. comfy couches with matching ottomans. and yes…FREE WI-FI (atlantic station)

10 Reasons to Vote on Super Tuesday

I'm getting ready to hit the polls and thought this would be a timely top ten for super Tuesday. It doesn't matter if you have to leave work early, take your lunch break, get up extra early…do whatever you gotta do to get up, get out, and do something by casting your vote today. here's the top ten to provide you with some extra voting motivation…

1. people gave their lives so you could have the right.

2. be a part of history, the first presidential election where either a woman or a black man will represent the democratic party.

3. nobody wants to hear a complainer who doesn't do anything about the issues they complain about. voting means you don't just talk about it, you are about it.

4. your vote gives voice to the issues you care about most.

5. voting channels your inner revolutionary.

6. the "I voted today" sticker is a really sexy accessory.

7. if you are a person of color or a woman, rewind less than a century ago and you would not have been able to vote because of your gender or skin color.

8. you can effect change in our country's leadership.

9. the people that came before you have walked miles, endured discrimination, and risked their lives and safety to cast their vote.

10. you don't have a good reason not to.

still trying to decide who to vote for? here's a pretty cool site that might help you align your candidate with the issues you're most concerned about. thanks for the link kimpossible!

10 Favorite Jay-Z Lines from American Gangster

10 Favorite Jay-Z Lines from American Gangster

I'm not a diehard jay-z fan. I'm a jay-z fan by association. my brother robert has been touting jigga's lyrical merits since reasonable doubt. in fact, a conversation with my brother can't pass without at least one jay-z reference. for my brother, jay is the hero and the moral to the story. when jay went grown and sexy instead of young and saggin', my brother used jay as a prime example of getting his grown man on. when there was talk of weezy claiming best rapper alive, my brother said without blinking that weezy better honor his father. and he wasn't talking about baby. lol

I jumped on the jay bandwagon late but out of respect for my brother and his number 1 emcee, I purchase jay's albums so my brother and I can trade shawn carter lines and quips while we philosophize about the meaning of life and lyrics. I have been listening to jay's american gangster nearly nonstop since I purchased it, so much so that any random strain of conversation can bring a line from the album to mind. this blog is dedicated to two jay-z fans. my brother robert who I can't get on myspace to save my life and my friend and fellow writer ebony janice. in the words of our great negro poet shawn carter, a collection of favorite quotables and inspirational lines from american gangster…

1. "survive the drought I wish you well/survive the drought? I wish you well?/how sick am i? I wish you health/I wish you wheels. I wish you wealth/I wish you insight so you can see for yourself." – american dreamin'

2. "rolls royce
keep my movements/smooth while maneuvering/
through all the manure in the sewer that i grew up in" – no hook

3. "So tall and lanky/my suit? It should thank me." – party life

4. "Ya boy's off the wall, these other ____ is Tito." – party life

5. "Ladies know I'm that guy, they wanna piece of my love." – american gangster

6. "When it all falls down I'm like Kanye's jaw/I might break but I don't fold/till I hold the sky in my hand, yeah that's my goal." – american gangster

7. "How could you leave me? I thought that you needed me!/When the world got too much and you pleaded with me-/Who helped you immediately?/How speedy of me!/How could you deny me so vehemently?" – I know

8. "I'm more Frank Lucas than Ludacris/And Luda's my dude I ain't trying to diss/Like Frank Lucas is cool but I ain't trying to snitch…I'm a live and die with the decisions that I'm a pick" – no hook

9. "hustle hard in any hustle that you pick." – no hook

10. "you can redefine the game as we know it, one dream at a time." – american dreamin'

10 Gangsta Flicks

yeah, yeah it's that Tuesday again, and I might be getting the swing of it. this past weekend it snowed in Atlanta. about one to two inches and the whole city shut down. the thought of this is probably highly offensive to you if you are from anywhere that has a real, shovel the snow, and take your butt to school and work winter.

but in an effort to preserve my safety, I stayed at home that whole day. the weather really wasn't so bad, but Atlanta drivers…don't know how to drive on a wonderfully sunny day so I wasn't taking any chances. spent the day wrapping up an article draft and watching a couple of flicks, gone with the wind and hoodlum to be exact. it was hoodlum that inspired this week's top ten list. here's a gangsta line I loved from the movie, I'm leaving out a couple of expletives ? :

bumpy: how do you sleep at night?
bub: how do you know I sleep at all?!

here's a list of ten films I find pretty gangsta. hit me up with any add-ons.

1. the godfather
2. goodfellas
3. Donnie brasco
4. carlito's way
5. hoodlum
6. city of god
7. new jack city
8. scarface
9. the godfather 2
10. the untouchables

and of course a clip from my favorite...

10 Ways to Stay Awake at Work

today has been a good day, a productive day, but nevertheless a long one and right now…a sista is sleepy. but I will not shut my eyes for any amount of shuteye until I finish this blog! which reminds me of another place I always used to find myself feeling sleepy…at work. I have absconded many of these ideas from true, reality-tested, office-worker approved, cubicle alertness tactics. I really wish I could use a couple of them right now to keep me from putting the mac down and laying it down myself…for your weekly enjoyment…?

1. create a crunk CD or playlist.
crank up some lil jon, an old remix of whoomp/whoop there it is, some seriously metal rock music…anything irreverent and loud will do. don't be a softie! Kenny g can't save you from the uncontrollable headnod. just don't listen to too much public enemy at your desk, the man doesn't take too kindly to you yelling, "fight the powers that be."

2. talk to the resident talk-a-holic.
yeah, you're seeing their face right now. you know the one. they never have a lack for conversation. always have a story to tell or some epiphany or revelation from an oh-so-interesting weekend…wait…I think I was that co-worker! lol by the time he/she finishes telling you about the third date that seemed like an episode of tales from the crypt, you'll find you're not yawning anymore. nothing ups adrenaline like a good scary story to tell in the dark.

3. take a walk.
understand the art of doing your work and appearing to do your work. as long as you are seen at your desk typing or looking pensive at least three times a day, couple of passes in the hall with a notebook and pen, a little business convo in another co-worker's cube, and you're good to go. taking a walk is much better than being found snoring at your desk. trust.

4. indulge in an internet break.
so you have the most boring assignment at your desk. every time your eyes scan the words, numbers, spreadsheet lines, you feel exhausted and nauseous. open yahoo, espn, amena brown's blog, whatever's your speed and let reading a couple of headlines be your reward for doing some work. this counts as one of the times you can be seen at your desk looking pensive.

5. snack!
you're not up on your cubicle game if you haven't stacked that desk drawer chock full of snacks! nobody said you had to share 'em. this ain't elementary school, trading my fruit roll-up for your gushers! keep your snacks a secret if you want to, but get some! peanuts, popcorn, candy…ahem…ok as a health PSA look up superfoods and get some of those in your drawer, as a chocolate lover myself I encourage some candy every now and then, but be warned…it will send you crashing…which will send you to one of these other ten tips.

6. enjoy a caffeinated beverage.
I'm personally a starbucks fan. that portable frappaccino is almost as good as the sleep you should have gotten that would help you to not be in the nodding off position you're in now. some trust in red bull, others in coke and mountain dew, I choose starbucks. and I'll let you know when they start paying me for these endorsements.

7. call a lifeline.
I know you want to be a millionaire, so start with taking some cues from the game show. this is when it pays to have ignorant friends. this is why you should befriend the witty, the goofy, the closet comedian, because in a drowsy moment like the one that is sure to hit you at about 2pm after that too big lunch, you need somebody to make you laugh so quietly loud in your cube that your stomach hurts. call the friend that you would never put on speaker phone and be assured laughter will send you the right endorphins to make it to five o' clock.

8. go home and start again tomorrow
note: this is only for the privileged, the contract employees, the graphic and web designers, for those of you who have the cool job where you can wear crocs and slightly inappropriate tagline tees. your boss is too busy tossing the nerf ball to your work team to be worried about whether or not you are chained at your desk. for you, cool co-worker, take advantage of your flexibility, go home, watch oprah, take a nap, and finish up your work from that cutting edge laptop the company gave you. yes it is possible to finish up that last assignment while watching reruns of the office. sho ya right.

9. take a nap.
note: this is only for the brave, bold, completely rebellious, and desperately fatigued. now…choose a secret location, a bathroom with little to no traffic, or maybe your own office if you're privileged enough to have one and get a power nap. notice I said power nap, not afternoon nap. this nap has to last no more than 20 minutes. again, your goal is to make it to 5 o' clock, not to make up for the sleep you missed last night. nobody told you to try and watch the whole season of lost in one night.

10. chew gum.
this was one of my favorite work pastimes. my flavor of choice was dentyne fire, the cinnamon one. they are not paying me for that endorsement either, but when they do I will post 10 ways to get an endorsement for your reading enjoyment. chewing gum helps digestion, chases away cavities and the like, and gives your brain something to focus on besides the dim lighting and quiet in your office.

did I miss any tips? did you stay awake through that whole thing?! that's big blog talk can you answer me?! sorry…I had a flashback, but if you can tell me what song that line came from I will surely give you a blog shoutout…priceless. ?

10 reasons NOT to procrastinate

as I type this I've got a couple of articles to finish and in true writer fashion I've been procrastinating. :O I don't why procrastination is so addictive. clearly, common sense says that waiting a grip to finish something will not make the task easier or results better. but still I wait, for a perfect moment, for inspiration, for some cocky chick to show up at the keyboard and kill 'em with her choice of syntax, diction, and alliteration and type amena brown in the byline.

goofy side note: does anybody remember david the gnome? as a child, I used to daydream that david and the gnomes would come and take care of the tasks I didn't want to handle like washing dishes, cleaning my room, etc. but no matter how hard I wished they never came to the kitchen and actually handled the dawn, sponge, and gritty dishes. want to know more about david the gnome? oh the wonder of you tube. ?)



10 reasons to stop procrastinating

1. it will bring back all-nighter memories from college.
2. you are getting too old to work well under pressure.
3. it's not sexy. try using the word procrastinator in a pick up line and see how it works for you. try using a pick up line and see how it works for you.
4. it doesn't solve the root problem: fear. procrastination is driven by fear. ask yourself what makes you so afraid to finish ______?
5. procrastination is like getting drunk. is the buzz really worth the consequences?
6. you are focusing so much on what you can't do that you haven't taken a good enough look at what you can do.
7. it prevents your success and keeps you from achieving dreams, goals, and accomplishments.
8. you will be more confident to take risks.
9. procrastination=stress and who wants stress?!
10. procrastination and laziness are first cousins if not siblings

I may have to read these ten reasons over again in order to get these articles done. all right dear readers, your turn. blog back one area in your life where you are constantly procrastinating.

10 Songs that Inspire

first of all, happy new year! this year I have an ambitious aim. every Tuesday I am promising top ten Tuesdays. a top ten of what I don't know, but that is officially 52 top ten lists. disclaimer: all top ten lists will expressly be the opinion of amena brown and may be goofy and have no evidence to back them except some random stuff I like. reading may be entertaining, which may cause LOL or SOL (that's smile on line grasshopper…or could be the other one you thought too…) anyway enough bantering…check out the first one…

top ten songs to keep you inspired!
so it's the first of the year and I don't know about you but I'm feeling like the past is behind me and I've got this long stretch of future in front of me. January is a great month. your work out plan turns out all right, you finally stop dealing with the people that you need to let go of, you are on day 5 of stopping that bad habit, but somewhere around February the gym gets empty, you have a weak moment and let a stray back in, and you are smoking that cigarette or whatever your stress vice is. these songs may help you to keep going towards your goals this year even when you stumble. send me any inspirational songs that help you make it past January and you will surely get a blog shout out.

1. strength courage & wisdom – India.arie
"I close my eyes and I think of all the things that I want to see…so let it be"

2. off the wall – michael jackson
"life ain't so bad at all, when you live it off the wall."

3. american dreamin – jay-z
"you can redefine the game as we know it, one dream at a time."

4. I wonder – kanye west
"I wonder if you know what it means to find your dreams…"
*If you can name the original that kanye sampled you get a blog shoutout! :D

5. press – fred Hammond
"til I become what He wants me to be…"

6. that's the way of the world – earth, wind, & fire
"you will find peace of mind, when you look way down in your heart & soul. don't hesitate because the world seems cold."

7. bag lady – Erykah badu
"let it go, let it go, let it go."

8. everything is everything – lauryn hill
"what is meant to be will be."

9. breakaway – Kelly Clarkson
"take a risk, take a chance, make a change, and break away."

10. work that – mary j. blige
"work what you got"